Do introverts talk to themselves? You may think it’s an odd question (and I agree), but I am often asked about odd habits that people ascribe to introverts.
Do extroverts talk to themselves?
Who doesn’t talk to themselves? Do extroverts talk to themselves? Yes they do, I’d like to crack a joke about them always talking, but that’s not really true.
Talking to yourself.
We all do, at times. Not the classic horror movie style talking to yourself, Maybe you’re just practicing a tough conversation in your head. Perhaps it’s that little voice in your head telling you you can’t do something and holding you back from the success you deserve. Those silly doubts just as you’re about to go and present to your team, or pitch for new business – we all get those from time to time, why not doubt the doubts?
Do introverts talk to themselves?
Introverts tend to be more reflective than extroverts which can be good or overdone. But do introverts talk to themselves? No, not in any way that’s different to everybody else.
Are introverts too reflective?
Being reflective can be good, and bad. Introverts, according to Jung, look inwards before looking outwards, where extraverts are the other way round.
Self-reflection, thinking about oneself and perhaps asking questions like “Who am I?” and “What’s my purpose in life” is not a bad thing (and maybe it’s talking to yourself). We all do it from time to time, but is it possible to be too reflective?
If constantly asking yourself reflective questions leads to a lack of clarity on things like a clear sense of personal beliefs, values or goals, and purpose, maybe it can be an issue.
Looking inwards for answers can be positive, it reduces the need for external validation (being told you’re doing a great job) and thoughts like “listen to your own voice” are more likely to help introverts. However constantly questioning yourself could lead to reduced confidence and with you never stretching your comfort zone.
Persistent self reflection, with little or no reference to the outside could be unhelpful. Every compass needs to be calibrated if it’s to help you on your journey.
For example: persistently asking “why” can be unhelpful as it’s always routed in the past. Having reviewed some lessons, the question needs to become “what shall I do about it”. Both are examples of where extroverts and introverts talk to themselves.
Relevant self reflection
There is no test to say this is too much reflection and this isn’t. We can only judge that for ourselves, by applying a usefulness test.
To make the the reflection work for us could mean moving from “why” to “what”. “Why” is routed to the past and makes it hard to move on. Changing the question to “what” allows us to take ownership and move forwards.
Sometimes it’s important to doubt the doubts and simply take a couple of simple actions to move forwards rather than solving everything.
moving from “why” to “what”
Introverts talking to themselves?
As an introvert you probably don’t talk to yourself any more than everybody else; but introverts don’t overdo being self-reflective. Learning lessons is be good, but don’t overdo reflection, ensure it’s useful and remember to doubt the doubts, not your abilities.
- Toilet Rolls and Introversion: Strange combination maybe, but it's a true and personal story.
- Why do introverts hate small talk? Most introverts and some extraverts don't like it
- When it’s noisy introverts find it harder to concentrate. And some things to do about it
- Curing the introvert hangover. Go on, you've had one too!
Or listening to
In this episode of "Activate Your Introvert" I answer the common question - what is an introvert?