Recently there was a Twitter trend on the most annoying questions introverts get asked, many were just silly (it was Twitter after all). My favourites from that day and from the annoying questions I’ve been asked (relating to be introverted) are below.
Most annoying questions
Which of the have you been asked the most?
- Are you always this quiet? The answer I feel like giving is “No, only when there’s nothing worth saying”. Introverts don’t feel the need to be talking all the time and are more comfortable with silence than most extroverts. Sometimes smiling and countering with another question is fun.
- Why are looking so serious? Introverts can easily get caught up in their own thoughts which can make them look overly serious. We’re not, but being aware of this perception could allow you to change it. I was recently talking about an Aunt, which reminded me I’ve been asked this since the age of 10!
- Are you leaving so early? I’ll normally tell a white lie at this point as I don’t have the energy left for a full discussion, “yes, it’s been a great evening, but I have an early start”. Socialising can be tiring for introverts and many deal with it by leaving early. If you’re worried about answering this one, set the evening up in advance so you can go early, or just slip out without saying all the goodbyes. Running out of “people energy” is common for introverts.
- Are you bored? Introverts tend to only add to conversations when they feel strongly about something that’s not being said. Maybe that comes across as being bored when we’re not. If you’re worried about this perception, asking some relevant questions, or summarising the points that are being made can help the conversation and prevent you looking bored. Or, maybe you’re bored with the inane smalltalk.
- Have you always been this shy? Being introverted and being shy are different things. Even more annoying that the question is when somebody speaks on your behalf “as you’re shy”. Introverts enjoy socialising, although need quiet time to recharge. Helping others to understand this can help you, and introverts everywhere.
- Don’t you like going out? Yes introverts do like going out. However, introverts also need to protect their energy and tend to value time on their own more than extroverts. If you’re worried about being asked this too often, arrange smaller quieter, gatherings with people you’re closer to.
- Are you okay? Yep, I saved the most common (and annoying) till last! Introverts get focus on their own thoughts, this thoughtfulness can be seen by others as upset or angry. It can lead to questioning about whether or not the introvert is okay. It’s nice to be noticed and nice that people are concerned but repeats of the question can get frustrating. Explaining a little about the nature of introverts can help the other person understand AND get to know you better as well.
Introverts are annoying
Actually I don’t think introverts are annoying, I (and many introverts I’ve surveyed) find people with large egos annoying. I’ve added this section as “introverts are annoying” was one of the most popular google searches on the site! It’s seems to be a sad thing about society that we find other types of people annoying, when learning about them might be better.
Do introverts get annoyed easily?
Introverts are no more, or less, likely to get annoyed easily than anybody else. Introversion is about the way people think and their energy, it’s not about getting annoyed. Granted it can get frustrating it you keep getting asked silly, or annoying questions, but that can happen to anybody. The questions on this page don’t imply introverts get annoyed easily, or that there are special things that annoy introverts. These are common questions introverts get asked; the frequency of being asked and the lack of understanding the questions show can be frustrating or annoying. A better understanding of introversion would stop people from asking them.
How do you deal with frustrating “stupid” or annoying questions?
- Toilet Rolls and Introversion: Strange combination maybe, but it's a true and personal story.
- Why do introverts hate small talk? Most introverts and some extraverts don't like it
- When it’s noisy introverts find it harder to concentrate. And some things to do about it
- Curing the introvert hangover. Go on, you've had one too!
Or listening to
In this episode of "Activate Your Introvert" I answer the common question - what is an introvert?